Anniversary Gratitude...to Scott, with Love

Last year on American Idol, there was a young woman who sang a remake of the '80's song:  I Wanna Know What Love Is by Foreigner.   Scott and I were delighted that our daughter took to the song (although not-so-much when she requested to play it repeatedly.)  When we blasted it in the car one time, Scott and I looked at each other and remarked about the meaning behind the words, particularly in lieu of how our lives have unfolded:

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me.....

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life....

I'm not gonna lie.  This year has been very, very challenging physically and emotionally.  I think I have shed more tears this year than I have in my entire lifetime.    Yes, there have been some days where I'd wondered if there was any more I could take....between dealing with physical pain, limitations, setbacks, and parenting a very challenging child.    We've taken it one. day. at. a. time.  Still are, in fact.  

.... recently I had reason to recall a significant relationship I had in college....one in which the guy broke up with me.  His reasoning?  "Chris, I want to be needed.  I don't feel like you really need me...you're way too independent and that's not what I want."   Of course, I didn't get it.   I mean, doesn't every man want a tough-minded, independent woman?   Apparently not.   It was a difficult holiday that year, being newly single and secretly wondering what was wrong with me. 

Scott and I both spent many years getting our "adventure seeking" out of our systems before getting married on February 15, 2005, (or maybe more accurately, we decided to blend our seeking of adventure into the building of a quirky, adventurous family.). We were drawn together through the bond of trust and the sharing of a very odd sense of humor.....one that has since, helped us to keep things light on some pretty dark days.   We said "I do" eight years ago....today.  

....and words cannot describe how immensely grateful I am that we did.  

Wanna know why?   Check our our e-mail conversation yesterday.....

-----Original Message-----
Sent: February 14th, 201
To: 'Chris Prange-Morgan'
Subject: RE:

Chris – your passion for the kids and rising above your accident are a constant amazement to me. You don’t need to do anything except what you are already doing and that is gift enough.

From: Chris  [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, February 14, 2013
 BTW, we need to talk about anniversary...not sure I'm comfortable spending $ to buy you something, as I'm not earning anything and there is nothing pressing that you want / need. (I don't feel the need to buy something to show I love you either!). I just can't see gimping around a store to "buy" something...know what I mean?  Ugh...
 Need I say more?

I never thought I would say this.  It goes against everything I ever thought I was and am......

Scott honey, I need you.   You keep me smiling and help me to remember the joy and laughter in my life.   You help to fuel my passions, and embrace life as a partner that I can hold on to.   You help me to be strong when I am not feeling strong, and you are tender in the times I most need it.   You've held me when I have cried....cried with me even, and challenged me when I have most needed it.  You appreciate me for who I am, and understand so much of who I am.   I am so amazingly thankful to have you in my life.   

On Sunday, at my folks' church group, Scott shared that he has been the happiest he has ever been since having me in his life.  (I know, can you believe it?!   I asked if he had been smoking crack!!)  I held onto that comment as I drove home earlier this week, having had a really tough pain-day.  Even though we joked about his comment at the time, it meant the world to me on Tuesday on that drive home.  It was my strong-hold. 

 

 Happy Anniversary Honey.   I love you.

(PS:  Don't go thinkin' you're all perfect or anything....that's for a later post.  ;)  Lol!)