2013...A Toast to Gratitude and Inspiration

I have always felt that DOing vs. BEing is a delicate balance.  It requires a sort of emotional tightrope walk between being active and contemplative....and usually, if given the choice, I much prefer the active route.   Not being able to do a heck of a lot (while keeping my foot up in the air) drives me batty.  

It can be tempting to focus on limitations....(eg. not being able to drive really sucks.   It does!)....or worry about outcomes (I am sweating my appt tomorrow because there's an area on my leg that concerns me.   I can't do anything about it except wait.  Waiting sucks too, and it is a reminder of the fear and loss associated with the past year).   Then I can focus on goals....which I do.  A lot.  I can't wait to get back to the gym, and to plan for lots of adventures for the summer and (hopefully) spring break. 

When I shift to my gratitude mode, I think about friends and family, the beauty of nature, and ability.   Because, yes.....ability is relative, and attitude is huge.

A few weeks ago I met two amazing people.   The thing is, neither of them think of themselves as amazing....but they are.  

I met both of them while doing volunteer visits at the hospital I spent lots of time at last winter.  During these visits, I got around using a knee walker , which I used grudgingly because I don't want my "limitation" to be obvious.

 As I rolled into the room of the first woman I visited, she immediately commented on my "cute blue scooter".   I explained to her why I was using it, then asked how she was doing (eluding to the information that I had on my daily census report...which had not been updated yet for that day).   She spoke of how her medical team had decided earlier that day to amputate her leg because of nagging circulatory complications.   As I secretly gasped inwardly to myself....realizing that this "cute scooter" of mine may have symbolized a phase in her loss process....I needed to then sigh, as she felt comfortable enough to throw the blankets off of her leg to expose her newly healing stump.   "Wow" I asked...."how has this journey been for you?"  She spoke of feeling contentment because of now being able to move on emotionally, as there were so many aspects of her healing journey that were up in the air until that point.   She continued to speak of all the people in her life that she has come to rely on and accept help from.....even joking about some of the silly and uncomfortable circumstances she had found herself in.  As I listened, I became increasingly thankful for our brief connection, and thanked her for sharing her courage and her strength.   As we ended our visit, she asked if I would pray with her.   I obliged (honestly I have always felt a little uncomfortable praying aloud with folks.   I know, its odd....I think it is an old Catholic thing.).   As I walked down the hall, I thought to myself...This woman has no idea how amazing she is.  I wish other people could know her.          

 Later that morning, I visited with a man who had had his larynx removed for a reason I cannot remember.   Earlier in that week, he was able to speak....now he relied on a device to insert into his trachea to make sound.   This man had the most amazing smile and hearty sense of humor.  (We all have our ways of coping....some folks cry, some folks see counselors, some folks try to stay busy, others use humor.)   I could tell this guy was a favorite on the floor because of his amazing attitude and ability to joke around.  When I spoke with the family member sitting in the room with him, she shook her head and commented about how often we wish our loved ones would "just shut up"....and we mean that.   When they are not able to speak anymore, that phrase takes on a whole new meaning.  I do not know what lies ahead for this guy....but I do know that I was inspired.  Tomorrow may be a rough day for him....or the next day, or the next day.  But for that moment I was thankful....I AM thankful for our meeting and for his courage. 

There are SO many amazing people....quietly courageous, gently overcoming, and brave.   They squeeze the essence out of life in the same way most of us squeeze the pulp out of an orange.  

So in the new year, I quietly toast to my overcoming friends.  I am humbled and grateful for all of you.   And I say in spirit to all folks struggling with whatever it is that is difficult for you.....breathe....hang on....keep calm and Climb on!